After months of the mysterious man-bun hairstyle appearing on more and more dudes in Venice an anomaly appeared at Venice Whole Foods at the break of dawn.
According to varied reports and shaky cell-phone camera footage (a screenshot of which is seen to the left) a being of pure light named Jimmy Bunicrom made itself visible for a brief message of urgency.
“People of Abbot Kinney, I have come in peace to bring about the Man Bun revolution. Do not hide your children. I am a being of complete Love, Peace and Attraction.”
As the onlookers looked up in amazement the most attractive female members walked through the crowd robotically, staring in awe chanting “Man Bun Overlord, Man Bun Overlord, Take us Away, Take us Away.”
“My name is unimportant but if you must know I am Jimmy Bunicrom and I have come to inject the program of Man-Bun Protocol XJ57 into all men of caucasian persuasion — particularly those who are my clones whom I have created years ago on the planet Folliclor. We must unite in our divine masculine, marginalize the baldies and destroy the motivation of all others in order to form a perfect Man-Bun race.”
As soon as he appeared he was gone and Venice returned to normal with people flocking back to their Priuie (singular for Prius). A group of balding men and men with crew cuts huddled in the aftermath. It was reported they were overheard saying, “We’ve got to stop Jimmy Bunicrom, I haven’t had a Tinder match in weeks!”