“Never has there been such a paradox of our class system then what I’ve witnessed going on immediately around us.” Brin expounded to a vigilant crowd, some recently displaced by rising rents in Venice due in large part to Google paying full price for their imported transplanted employees.
Google Venice in a rapid effort to stick to their original principles of “not being evil” have finally decided to give back to the community they have colonized. Google CEO and founder Sergei Brin appeared at a local Venice Homeless Council meeting last night donning his Google Spectacle X’s (google glasses inspired by Benjamin Franklin) and bullet-proof mylar G-Hoodie. The tagline for the G-Hoodie is, ‘When you have to walk through a battlefield to get to work – the new Google G-Hoodie.’
David “More Love” Busch tries to do a google search behind Google Venice HQ
After meeting with local homeless leaders like Crackhead Tommy (who also sidelines as the bike thief wrangler) and Methhead Tony, a once proud Golden Gloves boxer whose main career path is car robberies and “night time gardening”, Mr. Brin announced, “We at Google understand we have erected an outpost in the center of Venice’s mini-skid row.” He was referring to the block behind Google’s Venice outpost where the division between the 4.5 million dollar properties and zero to low income homeless/displaced population is readily apparent.
“Never has there been such a paradox of our class system then what I’ve witnessed going on immediately around us.” Brin expounded to a vigilant crowd, some recently displaced by rising rents in Venice due in large part to Google paying full price for their imported transplanted employees.
“We are aware that our Google culture, our luxury creative class raised on infinite buffets and guarantees of stock options, along with our need for the best 30% Rainforest guaranteed coffee-shops has lead us to eat up the best housing in Venice and send the prices of studio bungalows built in 1938 with 2 inch walls to upwards of $3000 a month.”
“You’re making Venice into a sterile sh-t pond of corporate sloghounds! Where’s the poetry!? Where are the real artists supposed to live!?” The crowd cheered.
Some boo’s and wailing could be heard in the crowd. One displaced person, dressed in black coated with crayon clowns on his body exclaimed, “You’re making Venice into a sterile sh-t pond of corporate sloghounds! Where’s the poetry!? Where are the real artists supposed to live!?” The crowd cheered.
Staunchly, Mr. Brin quelled the potential hecklers with reassurance and a Jedi hand swipe.
“Google are not the droids you’ve been looking for.”
With an almost magical benevolence circa 5 B.C Egypt, Mr. Brin placed his palms foward and uttered the mantra, “Namaste Konichiwa Mahalo Ram Kyo Ho, Feeling Lucky!”
Some reports claim rays of blue and pink lights emitted from his palms soaking the meeting with “healing energy.” A hologram of a luminous Bucky Fuller dyamaxion cube then appeared to the onlookers rotating in 3D space.
Artist rendition of the proposed GoogleMaxion homeless housing
“I present to all of you my concept for Google Housing specially tailored for the local homeless. I call it the Googlemaxion!”
The crowd stared in awe at the rotating fancy thing.
Brin concluded the meeting with a promise the Googlemaxion cube complex would be built in partnership with local developers like Pardee Properties and various “Big Pink Wig” land owners – although their names were not immediately revealed.
Google CEO Sergei Brin will Fix Venice with his bare hands